Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun.

So I just found out that the link I have in the sidebar to my tumblr doesn't work. But don't worry, I have fixed it.

I have my first final tomorrow. It is pretty early for a final, but I like it. It will make my final exam period just a little bit less stressful.

I should be studying, but I am having a very hard time focusing.

I say this all the time, but this semester is going by so incredibly fast. I have less than a month of classes left, that is insane. I have a few large life decisions to make in the next few months. And while I am glad that my school work is almost done, I am less happy about these impending decisions. When I still had lots of school to do, I didn't have to think about them.

I have been listening to a lot of Jack's Mannequin lately. I think if I could pick one musician/artist to meet in my lifetime it would be Andrew McMahon.

Here is a nice song of his if you are interested.

I had that dream again where I was lost for good in outer space.

School is starting wrap up, it is crazy. Next week is one of my busiest weeks. I have a final and two midterms within a span of 3 days. One of those midterms is for my hinduism class. I have not done any of my readings for that class since the last midterm a few weekends ago. And this teacher actually tests on readings. I just looked up all I have to read before next week, and it is a total of 20 chapters from 3 different books. This is a major loss for procrastination. I have my work cut out for me. Aside from that reading, I have a good amount to read before my final next monday. I have an essay to prepare for that final and another rather large essay to work on. But it's okay, because it will soon be over.

My hinduism class has actually been super interesting lately, so I am hoping the readings will be interesting too. We have been learning about the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, which are Indian epics. They are really cool stories. We have only gotten to hear bits and pieces of them (they are both quite long) but I think I might read them on my own at some point. The picture above is of a scene in the Mahabharata where Krsna instructs Arjuna on the battlefield. This section of the story is often removed and read on its own. It is called the Bhagavad Gita.

A few days ago I made a list of movies I want to see. I have some to add to it:

- Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

- Half Nelson

- American History X

- Boy A

- What's Eating Gilbert Grape

- The Last King of Scotland

- Titanic

So my list as of now:

- Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

- Half Nelson

- American History X

- Boy A

- What's Eating Gilbert Grape

- The Last King of Scotland

- Titanic

- The Wind that Shakes the Barley

- J Edgar

- Body of Lies

- Gangs of New York

- The Ides of March

- The Godfather

- Pulp Fiction

- Braveheart

- Winter's Bone

- Shutter Island

I'm finally numb so please don't get me rescued.

but when it's quiet
does she hear me
jettisoned to the center of the storm
and I'm thinking I'd prefer not to be rescued


cause I'm feeling like I might need to be near you
And I feel alright
so please don't get me rescued

And today was a day just like any other.

I wake up to find it's another four aspirin morning and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday
When did society decide that we had to change and wash a tee shirt after every individual use
If it's not dirty, I'm going to wear it
I take the stairs to the car and there's fog on the windows.

I need caffeine in my blood stream
I take caffeine in the blood stream
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize,

My life has become a boring pop song and everyone's singing along.




- Jack's Mannequin

There, there.

It's been a hell of day I've spent fading away

but we all fade sometimes I believe.

Picture from http://olexd.deviantart.com/art/Fading-away-169837580 

Dear Jack

I, I had songs for you
I had all your music written out
The words came when I heard you screaming
I, I had plans for you
Until the plans fell through
Now there is no turning back
My dear Jack


-Andrew McMahon

There, There Katie.

And I know it's only just started
but I'm gonna be there at six
with some flowers on sticks
that were clipped just to make the weak strong


Courage is something I'll need now
because its been a hell of a day
I've spent fading away
but we all fade sometimes
I believe


Katie, I'm sorry
that in your condition
the sunshine's been missing
but lately
I don't believe that it isn't there
oh and Katie
Katie be happy
this world can be ugly
but isn't it beautiful

This is from a song that Andrew McMahon wrote to his sister while he was fighting leukaemia. She gave him a bone marrow transplant.

I have been listening to lots of his songs lately.

What did you possibly expect under this condition?

this flood is slowly rising up
swallowing the ground beneath my feet
tell me how anybody thinks under this condition
so I'll swim as the water rises up
the sun is sinking down
and now all I can see are the planets in a row
suggesting it's best that I
slow down


this night's a perfect shade of
dark blue
have you ever been alone in a crowded room
well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue


we were boxing
we were boxing the stars
we were boxing
you were swinging for Mars
and then the water reached the West Coast
and took the power lines
and it was me and you
and this whole town underwater
there was nothing we could do
it was dark blue