Hypothetically...

You know what would not be cool...

If your prof went over the format of your project, which was very different than you expected, the day before it is due, when you were already 90% done, and now you have to redo most of it, in 24 hours, when you had already spent a solid 6-8 hours on this project, which is worth only 10% of your final mark.

Now I will let you decide if this is a purely hypothetical situation, or if I am in the library in a cranky mood with my group working on our ergonomics project.

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won.

I am frustrated about trivial things.

And stressed about things I cannot change.

I want what I can't have.

Or at least what I don't want to work for.

Contentment is something I don't have sometimes.

My city's still breathing but barely it's true.

If anyone is wondering, the score yesterday was:
World 7652 - Raiah 2

Over my head. Part 2.

Oh hey. Hows it going?

Me? I'm okay. Just having a mild panic attack about my Archaeology exam next week. No big deal, I just feel like I'm going to barf. Gah, I have no idea how I could ever be prepared for it. I already have a paper due next tuesday that I haven't even started yet and I'm working alllll weekend and then this test is on thursday. My prof sent us out some example essay questions, and I couldn't answer a single one.

I'm so frazzled I don't even know what I should do next.

maybe cry? That usually helps, right?

On the upside, I did manage to read 135 pages of the textbook yesterday. On the downside, you'd think that would have helped me be able to answer at least one of the essay questions.... but nope.

Over my head.

So in order to catch up on readings in just one class, I have to read 201 pages by tomorrow.

Tonight it will be me and the Oxford Illustrated Prehistory of Europe.

Its not even on the cool stuff about ancient Europe. It is all stone age, Palaeolithic, Mesolithic stuff. Gahh.

I had an unfortunate introduction today at work. It went like this:

Knee, meet steel beam.

Steel beam, meet knee.

ouch.

Falling slowly.

Today was another day at work. Full of silly union policies and unfair treatment.

Turns out I have fought as much as I can. And there is nothing left but to accept that things will not work out in my favour whatsoever.

This means that after this weekend, I have 30 days off (that is how long it takes to restart my hours so I don't get more that 240 in 90 days, if I did that, they would have to hire me full time, and goodness knows, they don't want to do that).

I really didn't think it would end up this way. Having some time off will be nice, but I feel almost guilty that I will not be working. I feel like I really need to in order to be okay at school next year, even though I probably don't. And I could get another job. But in 4 weeks I will be back to work at the mill and that hardly seems time enough to look for, apply for, and start a new job.

Perhaps this the way God wants my summer to be. I am sure it is, but I am not sure what it is going to look like yet. I feel like there is a good chance I will end up at camp for most of July. But I really don't know if that is where I should be, or if that is simply where i will go because that is where I always go when I have free time in the summer. Every summer I feel like it will finally be the summer where I grow up and actually work all four months. But somehow I always end up at camp. And that's not a bad thing, I love camp. But I see so many people who only get a few summers at camp before they "grow up" and are busy working and doing other things with their time. So, I guess sometimes I feel like I am not growing up and changing, but always staying the same. Always going to camp, even though now a lot of the summer staff ends up being much younger than me.

This summer, if I spent the month of July at camp, it would most likely be in the role of head counsellor. Because that is what camp needs and doesn't have. Now, does God want me to be the head counsellor? Or am I simply thinking that because the role hasn't been filled yet? Frankly, I am not sure that I am strong enough to do it right now. I have been sucking at my faith lately. But maybe God wants me to do it anyways.

I just don't know. I am going to be head counselling for most of Jr 1 next week. I guess I will see how that week is and go from there.

St. patrick's day.

soo, let me tell you about my wonderful night last night.

I had an intramural basketball game at 9:00. It was embarrassing. I have never shot so many airballs in my life. I know some of the refs, and they were just shaking their heads at me. At least once, I actually hit myself in the face as I was bringing the ball up to shoot, which equalled a HUGE airball. A lot of the force that was supposed to go into the shot, went into my face. They destroyed us. AND, they were pretty much playing 4 on 5. Intramural rules say that you have to have at least one girl on the floor at all times. We have played a few teams now where the whole team is made up of huge, awesome guys, and then the have a girl who pretty much just runs up and down the floor so that they don't get disqualified. This was a team like that. So basically, they only had four people on the floor and they beat us by 30. No one on my team could hit a shot to save their lives.

Earlier yesterday, a friend told me that he would be at the university until 10:30 (he had an intramural hockey game from 9:30 to 10:30) and so if I waited a half an hour after my game ended at 10:00, I could get a ride home with him. So, I sat around the gym/university for half an hour after my game. Then when I saw hockey people coming out of the gym, I texted him and found out that HIS game had actually been cancelled and he was at home. So there I was at the university at 10:30, without a way to get home.

I had some friends who came in shortly after to play their 11 oclock basketball game and they said they could drive me home, but I had to wait through their game. They actually wanted me to play on their team. I was thinking, "sweet, I have a ride home and I get to play two games tonight, maybe I can make up for all those airballs". But, that couldn't work out, could it? Nope. Turns out the team that they were playing had the thursday night intramural basketball organizer on it. Plus, the refs probably would have recognized me. Anyways, you are not technically allowed to play on more than one team on a single night and you can't play for a team unless you are on their official roster.  I thought I might have been able to just sneak in, but there were so many people around who had seen me play earlier. So I got to watch another basketball game. wohoo!

As I was sitting there (the only person "watching" basketball, I mean really, who comes to watch an 11 oclock intramural basketball game), the refs who had been at my game were like, "really, you're still here, don't you have better things to do?" To which I answered, "Yes, yes I really do have better things to do, but just let me tell you about my evening."

At midnight, my friend drove me home. MIDNIGHT. I was so stoked that we finally had the early game. I was gonna be home at 10:30! But that didn't work out. And when I got home at midnight, I still had to shower and get ready for bed. THEN I couldn't fall asleep. Long story short, I got maybe 5 hours of sleep last night and I have no idea how I managed to get up and get to school on time this morning. After my first class, I had an hour break. I definitely took a nap by pool. It was wonderful and I think I am going to take another nap now.

Anyways, that is how I spent my St. Patrick's Day. It was a hoot.

In which I rant about the university.

well, once again, the University has screwed me over. I checked out my final exam schedule for this semester...

Just like last semester... I have pretty much the worst schedule ever.

The last day of classes is April 15th.

My roommate is done her exams on the 19th.

I don't even have a final exam until the 26th. What the heck is up with that? I have 10 days between my last day of classes and my first final. AND, I get to sit here in the stupid, windy prairies studying for exams during Easter, because, my first final is the day after the long weekend. Its like there is some sort of force that is trying to make me hate it here.

Also, my finals are within like 3-4 days. The least they could do would be spread my exams over the two weeks of exam time I have to be here. But NOPE, I get back to back exams between the 26th and 29th. I actually have one final that hasn't been scheduled yet, but my guess is, Thursday, April 28th. That is the only day between the 26th and 29th that I don't have a test yet.

Wahoo. I just love University.

No title.

I cannot focus.

I have a lot to do in the next two days.

But am I studying? working on my biomechanics assignment?

No sir.

I am going to the movies tonight.

I suck.

That is all.