Quiet.

Susan Cain.

This is a book about introversion. 

Because I listened to it instead of reading it I have not retained all that much in terms of specific points or quotes, but I will tell you what I remember about the experience of listening to it and the small fragments that have stuck in my brain.

I have had this book on my list for a while, I figured I should read it because I am an introvert. But I put off actually reading it for quite a while because, to be honest, I don't think I really thought I'd get that much from it. I thought I knew a fair bit about what it means to be an introvert and this book would kind of just be long and wordy way of saying "introversion is valid and it means you need time away from people to recharge."

In some ways that was true. But the book was a bit more academic than I had anticipated. It was kind of a big literature review in that it seemed to condense and bring together studies and the most current research into the ideas traits and tendencies of introversion. It seemed to bring academic support for the ideas that it put forth.

There were many points in the book that, while not ground-breakingly affirmative, were reassuring and affirming. Descriptions of commonly held introvert traits. Stories of how these commonly held introvert traits display in childhood, school, and into adulthood. 

The idea behind this book, at least to some extent, was to affirm the introvert in a world that praises and idolizes traits more commonly associated with extroverts. Everything from business school to evangelical churches are set up in a way that glorifies an extroverted personality and pushes introverts to adopt extroverted personality traits in order to succeed. There was a lot of talk about introverts and how they do this; how they force themselves to appear as extroverts to succeed in certain areas of life. Introverts can be very good at this. It is the ability to self-monitor and to adapt one's personality to differing social situations. 

There was a bit about working alone. And how the world these days is continually pushing for collaboration. Open-plan office spaces are becoming more and more common. But there is research that shows that this focus on in-person collaboration actually decreases productivity in everyone (not just introverts). The ability to master any skill, they say, requires the ability to work well alone. Forced collaboration just slows you down and prevents you from doing the hard work of improving your weaknesses. This was particularly affirming for me. I have always done very well in school, but I have always done my school work entirely alone. I used to look at the extroverts in my classes who formed study groups and did their work together and wonder if I was missing out by not joining in. Part of that was a wish that I was simply a more social person who craved that connection and time spent with peers; I have always felt a bit like the anti-social nerd in school. But I also just struggled to actually get any kind of meaningful work done if I was forced to do it with others. Turns out that is a trait connected to my introversion which allowed me to achieve a level of mastery in my schoolwork. It affirmed what I felt, that my work was better when I did it alone, and removed any sort of trace of the "I should join in cause I might be missing out" feeling.

It was a good book. I wish I remembered more specifics. It was good enough that while I was listening to it I resolved to get a paper copy and go through it again much slower. If you are an introvert you'll probably find it interesting. Depending on how much you know about introversion, parts of it may be things you already know or could work out for yourself, but I found it affirming to see/hear the studies and academic proof behind the things I had sort of always held to be true. And there was quite a bit that was entirely new to me as well. Overall, a good book.