I listened to these books back to back. We All Fall Down basically picks up where Tweak left off and they tell the story a continuous story so I figured it would be better to just combine them into one post.
Tweak basically covers the same timeline as Beautiful Boy. It was very interesting to read them in the order I did (Beautiful Boy first, Tweak second). Beautiful Boy is punctuated with worry and the unknown. It is mostly David wondering where Nic is and if he is okay. You see how it slowly destroys him and how he eventually learns to cope. Then when you read Tweak you find out exactly where Nic was and what he was doing and it is like an entirely different world. The books intersect in little places. There are times over the span of the books where Nic and David interact, like little ties anchoring entirely different worlds together. They form small bits of familiarity between the books. But mostly, they are entirely independent and different stories. Sometimes they have entirely different recollections of the same interactions.
We All Fall Down picks up where Tweak leaves off. Tweak ends on a hopeful note with Nic attending a different style of rehab program that he describes optimistically. He talks about finally addressing his traumas and working towards emotional healing and dealing with the root causes of his addictions. The book ends with hope and optimism and with an epilogue written a year or so after he leaves the treatment centre.
We All Fall Down begins with a retelling of the story of that same treatment facility. Only gone is the hope and optimism and the idea that the treatment is working. Instead there is an angry story of treatment that doesn't work and the ways that he lied and tried to say what his counsellors wanted to hear so that they would let him go. He did not finish at the centre, he was kicked out. But there was no "hey, so I lied" declaration at the start of the book so I spent the first half of the book trying to figure out what was true and what was going on. It was jarring and disappointing because after all of the relapses in Tweak you were so ready for a happy ending that you just ate it up without question. Also up to that point you had no reason to believe the author would lie to you. He had admitted a lot of terrible things and seemed to have no reason to lie. I suppose the way I felt betrayed when I realized it was lie was a very small reflection of what it would feel like to have a loved one dealing with addiction. You are exhausted and you want so badly for them to be better that when they tell you they are you believe them because you want it to be true.
The book takes you through the release of both Tweak and We All Fall Down and the joint book tour. It deals with relapses only they are not as dangerous or chaotic as they were in Tweak. It really does feel like over time Nic is slowly getting better.
For a good portion of this book I was a bit frustrated. It just seemed like the same cycle over and over. The same triggers, the same thoughts, the same pitfalls. All with the author seemingly unable to recognize the destructive pattern. I know it is obviously easier to see them in hindsight. In fact he probably wrote the books purposely in a way to showcase that. I guess I just started getting exhausted by it all. You just want him to get better and he doesn't seem to. But, then by the end of the book I was somehow hopeful and optimistic again. It found a way to end that made you really believe things were different and Nic was going to be okay. But hey, Tweak did that too so I don't want to get my hopes too high. I googled him and all I could really find out is that he is still alive. Which is a positive sign. Anyways, I am glad I read these books.
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