Everyone talks about those dreams

the ones where something terrible happens.

And when you wake up

it takes a while to convince yourself it never actually happened.

Then this amazing feeling of relief comes.

But sometimes I have dreams

where I am so happy.

And then I wake up

and know right away it was only a dream.

I know that it isn't real at all.

It isn't relief that follows.

Its kind of a mixture of defeat and regret

but it feels like somehow I did it to myself.

I had one last night.